Self-compassion helps us to look at what is in us, with acceptance and kindness.

Kristin Neff, one leading researcher in this field and creator of the Mindfulness Self Compassion program (also knows an MSC), defines self-compassion as three steps process:

1. Mindfulness: the awareness of what we are and what we experience. The ability to observe our thoughts and emotions without self-criticism, but also without overidentification. That means facing thoughts and emotions (even the most unpleasant ones) as experiences that we have and not to be confused with what we “are”. We may not control the thoughts and emotions that arise, but we can somehow control what we do with them.
2. Kindness and non-judgment: have you noticed how usually it is easier to be kind to others than to us? By being more understanding when we suffer, make mistakes and fail, we help us to reduce suffering, frustration and stress and to manage emotions with greater equanimity.
3. Common Sense of Humanity: by accepting that error, failure, difficult emotions and even inadequacy are part of the human experience, we help us not to fall into the trap of the extremes: the idea of ​​victimization that “this only happens to me “or the other idea that” something is wrong with me and I shouldn’t feel this “.

Coming back to my own experience, I would like to share that the frequent practice of self-compassion is helping me to move from guilt into responsibility. I always felt lots of guilt about my imperfections. I even realized that I was using “guilt” to hide and feel better, so I could continue to feel the wrongness of someone who “wants to be a good person” but cannot change but simply feel the guilty for doing something wrong. But guilt does not help anyone, not me. It blocks us. It sinks us.

By facing my mistakes and failures with greater self-compassion, it helped me to feel responsibility instead of guilt. And responsibility helps me to accept what was and what is, and to motivate me to do different and better.

Mindfulness practice is one of the tools I have used the most to cultivate my self-compassion. If this article resonates with you, I invite you to try a practice of self-compassion here.